just survived the first fart of the relationship.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
