I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I don't deserve a penis
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
