Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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