I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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