Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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