My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
