jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Farmville is her only friend.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
