He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
honey bunches of taint.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
