I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
