I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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