I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
