Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
