ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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