He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
