Do you still have your period?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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