dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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