Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
