Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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