So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
did you just send me my own nude
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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