is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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