I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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