I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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