U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I think my fart just growled at me.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
