that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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