How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think a kid would responsible me up
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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