Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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