okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
