god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
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She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
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I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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