I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
