I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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