you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
