...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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