so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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