My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
