The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
