we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
