my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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