I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I came so hard my ears popped.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
