Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
