The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
