with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
