Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
