saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Vodka?
Forever.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
