I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
