Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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