Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My liver just broke up with me...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
