idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
