Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
