he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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