i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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