This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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