We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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