Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
