He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ugly people sure do ruin things
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
