wanna go halves on a baby?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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