We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
