When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
