ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
