i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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