Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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