So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
