Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
