he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
