I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
