Umm I'm too high to move.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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