Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
