I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
