Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
