i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
