Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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