Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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