Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
