can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize